Wednesday, October 2, 2013

More privetcy please!

People don't realize that I'm a very privet person. I don't normally
Put my business on social networking or anything. Witting these blogs are the most that I've ever got personal. I guess it's because I don't tell anyone I know that I'm writing these. Like most people I don't like feeling as if I'm getting judged on the type of life and struggles I've faced. I may not have the best life, but I don't ever regret anything! 
Many things from my past have molded me into the women I am today. I don't dwell on the past, it's wasteful and meaningless. I feel like it's just a way to hold me back. 
I don't like people feelin sorry for me, so I don't talk about the rape situation. I never told b/c I refused to be known as "The girl who was raped" that's defiantly not my cup of tea! 
I do everything possible to stay out of the light. I don't need friends or anyone to talk to. I don't like conflict , but don't get me wrong If you wanna rock that boat prepare for it to sink! 
I don't like people knowing the conversations that I have , either if it's Facebook messages, email , or text I delete it all. I don't what anyone to have any kind of information .  But I've always been like that.  In high school I didn't have many friends, I didn't talk to  people if I didn't have to. When I graduated I just got over most of it. I WOuld date , meet new people, and party a lot. 
I eventually got over trying to say quiet, I had kids and a family. I'm going to college. Well the main reason I decide to go back was 1) my children deserve the best! 2) before my mom pasted away I promised her I would graduate college and have a better life. I'm so proud and happy to say that's exactly what I'm doing! I have one term left and I'll officially be a college graduate! I'm exited to see the smile on my dads and families face when I get my diploma! My family deserves a better life. I don't why my kids to want for anything. If we are shopping and they ask for something I want them to have it. But they will learn the value of a dollar and when they are 16 they will get a job! 
Sorry kids , that's life!! Lol 
Sorry my ADHD is kicking in , so I get all over the place b/c I think of what to type but I add it so I don't forget. As you can tell I'm a basket case and very unorganized.  Just comes with the territory I suppose. 
We'll anywhooooo , I've always struggled with my weight. (I bet your shocked here!!!) one day I was at school and this kid who was defiantly not a neck breaker himself decided to call me fa and some other shyt that I can't remember , I'm sure I've heard it Before. I got so mad I 
cursed this kid out. I told him he was ugly , his mom thinks he's ugly, and I can fix fat buy you can't fix ugly. Oh! Did I mention I was 10? Yea I was hell on wheels! 
My brother was always slim. I was active played every sport, soccer, volleyball , basketball, and football at home with some friends. 
I guess I find I easier to shut myself away from the world and be unnoticed to people can't judge me. Maybe it's a fear, but I call it privetcy!  

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